


play-pretend

by nure



Series: long time no see [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, and you thought washing dog urine out of a shoe couldn't be romantic, like hello?? grunting?? isn't?? actual?? communication??, no beta we die like mad dog's eyebrows, srsly tho you will want kyoutani to grow out his hair just to rip it out for him by the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-21 22:14:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30028620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nure/pseuds/nure
Summary: Kyoutani and Yahaba parted ways at the end of their freshmen year in college and have not spoken to each other in the twelve months since.But then Kyoutani finds out that Yahaba got a poodle. And that he named it Mad Dog.May the tension commence.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru
Series: long time no see [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2209116
Comments: 13
Kudos: 63





	play-pretend

**Author's Note:**

> alternate title: "tackle me down a hill and i will love you for it, damn it, i will love you for it all"
> 
> the flashbacks (the sections in italics) aren't in chronological order, so you may need to pay extra special attention to the time stamps at the top of each flashback scene. 
> 
> there's also very minor underage drinking? kind of? i mean, they're in college, and they're older than eighteen, and japan is going to lower the drinking age to eighteen in a year, so it's there, but not really. it's only a couple of sentences though, so nothing too triggering. there will be profanity though, so if that is an issue for you, please be wary.

_One Year Ago_

  
_”No.” Kyoutani shook his head firmly, his arms crossed tight against his chest._  


____

_“Aw, come on,” Yahaba whined, tugging at his shirt’s sleeve. Kyoutani still didn’t budge. “It’s so nice out, and the park will be-“_

__

__

_“Nope.” Kyoutani shook his head. “Not happening.”_

__

__

_Yahaba frowned. “Why not?” he asked._

__

__

_Kyoutani sucked in a deep breath. “Because parks are-“_

__

__

_“Dumb and stupid, filled with annoying people doing annoying things.” The brunette rolled his eyes and sighed. “I know, I know.”_

__

__

_Kyoutani shrugged. “You were the one who asked.”_

__

__

_Yahaba looked down and pouted. “Pretty pretty please?” he asked, making his light brown eyes as big as possible._

__

__

_Kyoutani just glared at him. “You sound like Oikawa.”_

__

__

_“Well you sound like Iwaizumi.”_

__

__

_Kyoutani scoffed. “We are most definitely_ not _Oikawa and Iwaizumi.”_

__

__

_“Why not?” the brunette asked._

_Kyoutani stared at him for a moment, thinking of their upperclassmen’s hands linked under the table even as they bickered like an old married couple. “Well we aren’t dating, for one thing.” Yahaba had made that much obvious, at least._

_“Right.” Yahaba looked away, chuckling softly, but it didn’t sound entirely right. “That’s a pretty big one.”_

_Kyoutani just grunted. (Could grunts sound bitter? He sure hoped not.)_

_“How about,” Yahaba started, breaking the slight silence that had fallen between them, “if you come to the park with me, I’ll…” He thought for a moment. “I’ll do the dishes tonight.”_

_Kyoutani didn’t even bother answering._

_Yahaba sighed loudly. “Please? Will you come?”_

_Kyoutani just glared at him._

_“For me?”_

_And Yahaba was looking at him with those big brown eyes of his and Kyoutani just looked away and grunted because he really was a weak, weak man. “Two nights,” he grumbled, stalking forward to grab a jacket._

_Yahaba broke out into a big grin. “One and a half,” he bargained._

_“How do you even do the dishes for half of a night?”_

_“One and a quarter.”_

_“That makes even less sense.”_

_“One and an eighth and that’s my final offer.”_

_“Good lord.”_

#

Kyoutani was thoroughly convinced that parks were stupid. The entire concept of gathering a bunch of annoying people in one big annoying space where annoying children ran around annoying already annoying enough passerbys into being even more annoying was just so mindnumbingly stupid that he thought only the kind of person who frequented parks could’ve come up with it.

Today, however, Kyoutani decided to walk through the stupid park anyways. It wasn’t like he had anything better to do; his professor for the afternoon class he was supposed to be at had sent out an email saying they were sick, and he’d already finished his homework for the rest of the week. 

Besides, he was in a strange mood, the kind that made his shoulders a little less tense and his gait a little longer. If Makki were there, he’d probably say something dumb like: “That’s what they call a _good mood_ , Kentarou-kun. Can you spell that? G-O-O-D M-O-O-D.” (And then, of course, Kyoutani would smack him on the arm and growl and Makki’s shit-eating grin would slide right off his face. Kyoutani nearly smirked just thinking about it.) 

It didn’t exactly hurt this strange mood when a small poodle came bounding up to him either. Kyoutani bent down to ruffle the white fur atop its head, and the dog nuzzled him appreciatively. Dogs were nice like that: pet them and they fall in love. It was simple, uncomplicated. Kyoutani’s shoulders relaxed even more. 

“Hey!” an out-of-breath voice called. “Get back here, Mad Dog!“ 

Kyoutani’s eyebrows furrowed. _Mad Dog?_ He hadn’t been called that since his first year of college, when Iwaizumi had finally succeeded in convincing Oikawa to give the stupid nickname up. _But then who…?_

Kyoutani looked up and immediately froze, the hand he had been using to pet the poodle’s head halting in its track. 

“I’m so sorry about Mad Dog,” the voice continued, bending over to catch his breath. “The little punk keeps on-“ He stopped his sentence as soon as he stood back up and saw who it was. 

Kyoutani still couldn’t move. 

“Oh shit,” breathed Yahaba Shigeru, staring down at Kyoutani with wide eyes. 

The pair stayed frozen for a long moment. A piece of Yahaba’s bangs fell down over his eyes, but he didn’t move to push it away. Kyoutani’s mouth dried and then it was a year ago and Kyoutani was stroking his fingers through Yahaba’s hair and even though Yahaba was asleep and couldn’t call him a softie he still hummed a little against Kyoutani’s shoulder and each strand glowed quietly in the morning light and-

“So, uh.” Kyoutani cleared his throat. “Hey.”

Yahaba stared at him a beat too long before replying. “Hey.” He paused, as if he was unsure of what to say. Yahaba was never unsure of what to say. “Long time no see, I guess.”

Kyoutani coughed awkwardly. “Yeah.”

Another uncomfortable silence hovered in the air for a moment. Then the poodle by Kyoutani’s foot started to whine, nuzzling his head into his shin for more attention. Dogs were nice like that: simple, uncomplicated. Kyoutani resumed his hand’s stroking motion, tearing his eyes away from Yahaba. “He’s cute,” he said. 

Yahaba laughed a little, but it was dry and fell to the ground unceremoniously. “Yeah, well, that’s certainly one way to put it.” 

Another awkward silence descended upon them. Kyoutani kept his eyes locked on the poodle’s head, but he could hear Yahaba shift his weight above him. “Well,” Yahaba started, “it was nice seeing you, I guess, but I better-“

“You named your dog after me,” Kyoutani interrupted, looking up from the poodle. 

“No,” the brunette immediately fired back. “I most certainly did not.”

Kyoutani furrowed his eyebrows. “But you called him Mad Dog.”

“When?”

“Literally just now.” 

Yahaba crossed his arms stubbornly. “I don’t remember that.” 

Kyoutani slowly brought his gaze down to check the dog’s collar before dragging his eyes back up to Yahaba. “It says Mad Dog.” 

“Does it really?” 

Kyoutani just squinted at him. 

The brunette huffed and shifted his weight to the other foot. “Well it’s not because of you. He’s a crazy dog, alright?” 

Almost as if he wanted to prove his owner’s point, the poodle promptly lifted up his hind leg, and Kyoutani was too startled to move his foot back as the dog started peeing on his shoe.

“Aw shitty shit shit,” Yahaba groaned, rushing forward to pull his dog back. “Bad boy, very very bad boy.” 

Kyoutani slowly stood up from his squatting position while Yahaba admonished the poodle. He tried not to wince at the growing sensation of wetness on his sock. 

“How much will a new pair cost you?” Yahaba asked, balancing the end of his dog’s leash in his elbow as he started to pull out his wallet. “I don’t have much cash on me, but-“

Kyoutani grunted. “It’s fine.” 

“No. It’s not.” Yahaba frowned and leveled a glare at him. Kyoutani swallowed. It had been a year since he had seen a Yahaba glare. “My dog, my responsibility. I don’t need you doing me any favors. Now how much?”

Kyoutani shook his head. “I’m not going to take your money,” he said, making his voice deep. It was a trick he had picked up over the years that usually made people back down.

Then he remembered that never worked on Yahaba. “Oh yes, you fucking are,” the brunette growled, shoving a handful of bills against Kyoutani’s chest. 

Kyoutani just pushed his hands deep into his pockets and stared up at Yahaba, refusing to budge. Yahaba glared right back at him, neither of them moving, and it all felt so _normal_ that it took Kyoutani a moment to realize that it had been a year since Yahaba had last touched him. It took him another to realize that Yahaba’s hand was now pressed against his chest and Kyoutani knew he should’ve worn a thinner shirt this morning because the fabric was too thick and Yahaba’s hand too far; it had been too far for far too long and his heart kept thumping louder and louder against his chest, straining to be closer to Yahaba’s fingertips and Yahaba had been too busy glaring at him to notice but Kyoutani could see his eyes widen as he realized how close they were and Kyoutani’s head subconsciously leaned forward and he hadn’t really meant to but it had been a year, a fucking year, a long-ass fucking-

“Fine.” Yahaba pulled his arm away and looked down. 

Kyoutani quickly shifted his weight back to his heels and moved his gaze to the side, frowning as he tried to temper the blush that was blooming across his cheeks. 

Yahaba glanced over at him and sighed. “There’s no need to get so pissy.” 

“I’m not pissy.” Kyoutani scowled. 

“Stop pouting then.” 

Kyoutani’s frown deepened. “I’m not pouting.” 

Yahaba raised a disbelieving eyebrow. “You do realize I can see your face, right?” 

“You do realize I can read your dog’s collar, right?”

Yahaba’s cheeks reddened, and Kyoutani resisted the urge to grin at his victory. “I already told you,” he hissed, his fist tightening around Mad Dog’s leash, “that I didn’t name him after you. Don’t be so self-centered.” 

“So I’m supposed to believe that it’s just a coincidence?” 

Yahaba’s light brown irises were unreadable as they looked directly into his eyes. “I have no reason to lie,” he said, and Kyoutani remembered. It had been a year since they last saw each other. Yahaba no longer had a reason to lie, or tell the truth, or hell, even talk to him. 

Kyoutani grunted and kicked at some pebbles. “I guess,” he mumbled. 

Yahaba was quiet for a long moment before sighing loudly. “And there you go getting all pissy again.” He started walking forward. “Come on.” 

Kyoutani’s legs had already began to follow Yahaba when his brain finally caught up. “What?” 

“Your shoe. If you won’t let me buy you a new one, then I’m at least gonna help you wash it.” 

“Oh.” Kyoutani looked down at his foot. “You don’t have to.” 

Yahaba didn’t answer. Instead, he just pointed at a building up ahead. “There’s a public bathroom over there,” he said. 

They fell into a silence as they walked beside each other. It was strange: back in their first year of college, they had spent a lot of time together in silence - eating Cheetos on the couch, studying on opposite sides of their dorm room, walking back home from class. Their silences had been comfortable, then, even normal, but there had always been at least some sound from Yahaba. Munching, the occasional hum, excessively aggressive typing, something that would let Kyoutani know that Yahaba was alive. 

Now, however, even Yahaba’s footsteps were silent. Kyoutani kept having to glance over to his left to make sure that he was still there, that he hadn’t just disappeared. He was honestly a bit surprised every time he looked over and could still see Yahaba’s profile, him being there after a whole year of not. 

Yahaba, on the other hand, never so much as glanced at him. Kyoutani grit his teeth.

#

__

_One Year Ago_

_”Kyoutani.” Yahaba’s books made a loud thump as he dumped them on the table Kyoutani was hunched over studying at. “You have to stop doing this.”_

__

_“Doing what?”_

__

__

_Yahaba sighed loudly before plopping down in the chair next to Kyoutani. “Nice try, but I told you, there’s no way we’re getting a dog. Even if you continue putting pictures of puppies into my textbooks.”_

__

__

_“Wasn’t me,” Kyoutani grunted._

__

__

_Yahaba rolled his eyes. “It so is you,” he said, “and it so is not going to work.”_

__

__

_“But did you see how cute the bulldog’s face was?”_

__

__

_Yahaba raised a perfectly arched eyebrow. “I thought you said it wasn’t you putting the pictures in?”_

__

__

_Kyoutani turned back to his homework. Damn Yahaba and his perfectly arched eyebrows. “Whatever,” he grumbled._

__

__

_Yahaba laughed, a real laugh made of milky eyes and fluffy bangs and perfectly arched eyebrows. Kyoutani’s shoulders unconsciously relaxed a bit._

__

__

_“Wasn’t me,” he muttered again, just for good measure._

__

__

_“Mhm.” Yahaba hummed. “Whatever you say, Kentarou.”_

__

__

Kentarou. _The back of Kyoutani’s neck flushed pink and they weren’t even dating but shit, Yahaba’s voice was dangerous. He stood up from the table, pushing his chair back abruptly. “Fucking hell- I, dammit, I told you to not call me that,” he growled._

_“Right.” Yahaba looked down at his hands. “I- sorry.”_

_Standing up had been a bad idea, a very bad idea, in fact, because Yahaba’s fluffy hair was so close that it would be so easy for Kyoutani to just reach out and run his hands through the strands and god how much Kyoutani wanted to just ruffle every- “Whatever.” Kyoutani spun around and started to walk away. “It’s- whatever.”_

_It was not whatever, Yahaba’s voice and his fluffy hair and his_ Kentarou _were not whatever, but they weren’t anything else, either, so Kyoutani just hid his blush and walked away. “What do you want for dinner?” he muttered, moving towards the phone._

_“Anything but you ordering takeout,” Yahaba replied easily, because he could say _Kentarou_ and then act like nothing had happened because literally nothing had happened and Kyoutani was just freaking out over nothing like the complete and utter mess he was. _

_Damn Yahaba and his perfctly arched eyebrows._

_Kyoutani turned around to glare at him. “I can make a phone call, you know.”_

_“You really can’t. Last time, all you said was ‘Hey’ and the girl screamed.”_

_“That was literally just the once.”_

_“And the time before that, the poor guy was trembling so much he dropped the phone at least three times.”_

_“So maybe it’s happened once or twice, but that doesn’t mean-”_

_“And then there was that one time where they just started crying-“_

_“Well three times doesn’t prove any-”_

_“And remember when-“_

_“God damn it, Yahaba, do you really remember everything-“_

_“Yes.”_

#

The bathroom was fine, as far as public bathrooms went. Kyoutani shoved his hands into his pockets. A few sinks lined the wall opposite the stalls, nothing special.

Still, Yahaba was looking at him expectantly. 

“What?” Kyoutani asked. 

Yahaba raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you going to take off your shoe?” 

Kyoutani grunted and leaned down, unlacing his sneaker before slipping it off of his foot. When he stood back up with the shoe in hand, however, Yahaba was giving him a strange look. 

“I’d forgotten you did that,” he said. 

_I’d forgotten._ Kyoutani looked away, his eyebrow creasing further. “What?” he asked, his voice gruff. 

“That you untie your laces every time you take your shoe on or off.” Yahaba shook his head. “So excessive.”

“Whatever,” Kyoutani grumbled, dropping his sneaker into the sink and turning on the hot water faucet. 

It was quiet for a long moment, the running water the only sound filling the room. 

“So,” Yahaba said finally, breaking the silence, “how have you been?” He laughed, but the sound was dry and mirthless. “That’s what you’re supposed to ask in these sorts of situations, right?” 

Kyoutani shrugged. “‘M fine,” he mumbled, keeping his eyes on the shoe growing more and more soaked in the sink. He could feel Yahaba’s eyes on the side of his face, and for some reason, it made his cheek all itchy and red. Yahaba’s gaze had almost made him feel like that, almost as if it was an allergic reaction or something. Thinking back on it, that should’ve been the first sign that Kyoutani recognized to get the hell away from the boy. Kyoutani frowned. Maybe, if he had listened to it, they wouldn’t be here right now. In this public restroom. Washing urine out of his shoe. After a year of being strangers.

“You know,” Yahaba said, “this is when you’re supposed to ask how I’m doing.”

“Oh.” Kyoutani shoved his hands into his pockets and glanced over at him. “Well? How are you doing?” 

Yahaba’s expression was strange. He seemed to be searching for something in Kyoutani’s face, but whatever it was he clearly didn’t find it because his eyes remained unsatisfied. “Great,” Yahaba finally answered. “I’m great. Really, really great.” 

Kyoutani grit his teeth and looked away.

“Classes are great, dorm is great,” Yahaba continued. He paused for a moment. “New roommate is great, too.” 

Kyoutani’s head snapped back up to look at him. Yahaba’s eyes had that same look in his eyes, the one that was searching for something, and Kyoutani swallowed hard. 

_Who is he? What’s his name? Is he strong? Does he lift? Do you like him?_

“Great,” Kyoutani said instead. 

Yahaba’s eyes searched his for another moment before giving up and looking away. “Yeah,” he said. “Great.” 

And now they were back to silence. 

Kyoutani huffed.

Great.

#

__

_Two Years Ago_

  
_“Wow.” Watari’s gaze panned across Aoba Johsai’s gym. The windows reflected the orange-red hues of the sky, and the entire building seemed to glow under the light from the setting sun. “We’ve actually graduated.” He turned to smile slightly at Yahaba. “Three years really went by fast, huh?”_  


____

_“Yeah.” Yahaba nodded. “They really did.”_

__

__

_A silence descended upon them as they all looked out at the high school, taking it all in. From their spot on the hill, Kyoutani could see it all - the classrooms, the gym, the swimming pool. It was all here. Three years of his life, all of which could be seen from a single spot._

__

__

_It had felt so much bigger before._

__

__

_Watari sighed loudly, breaking the silence to drape his arms around Yahaba and Kyoutani’s shoulders. “And then next year we’ll all go off to our different universities, never to see each other again.”_

__

__

_Yahaba rolled his eyes. “Come on, Watari, no need to be such a drama queen. We’ll see each other again.”_

__

__

_Kyoutani glanced over to his left at Yahaba’s profile and swallowed. “Yeah,” he said, his voice gruff. “We’ll see each other again.”_

__

__

_It was quiet for another moment before Watari dropped his arms so that he could fully turn to look at the blonde boy. “Hey,” he said, “you never did actually tell us which university you’re going to.”_

__

__

_Well shit._

__

__

_Kyoutani grunted noncommitally._

__

__

_“That wasn’t an answer,” Yahaba said._

__

__

_Shit shit shitty shit shit. “There was a question?”_

__

__

_Yahaba narrowed his eyes at him. “You know what we’re talking about. Why are you avoiding it?”_

__

__

_Crap. Kyoutani swallowed. Well he was in too deep to back down now. “Avoiding what?”_

__

__

_“It’s really okay,” Watari cut in. “If you don’t want to-“_

__

__

_“No, it’s not.” Yahaba was staring straight at him. “What university are you going to, Kyoutani?”_

__

__

_The blonde boy looked away and grunted noncommitally._

__

__

_Yahaba groaned. “For Christ’s sake, that’s not an answer to the question.”_

__

__

_“There was a question?”_

__

__

_“Kyoutani, I swear-“_

__

__

_Watari laughed awkwardly. “Guys, come on, we literally just graduated, so let’s not get into a fight today, alright?”_

__

__

_“Hey, I’m not the one picking a fight here. This wouldn’t be an issue if somebody would just_ tell us where he’s going. _” Yahaba threw a glare at Kyoutani._

__

__

_Kyoutani grit his teeth. “Going where?”_

_Yahaba scoffed. “Going where?” He threw up his hands. “Going_ where _?”_

_Watari chuckled nervously. “Yahaba-“_

_“Do you hear this, Watari? We may not see each other for the rest of our fucking lives and Kyoutani still chooses to be an ass.”_

_“Well now look who’s being a drama queen,” Kyoutani grumbled, crossing his arms._

_Everything was quiet for a moment and then Yahaba was lunging forward and there were arms wrapped around Kyoutani’s waist and they were Yahaba’s arms and holy shit, Yahaba’s arms were wrapped around his waist and then they weren’t because Kyoutani had toppled back onto the grass and Yahaba was climbing up on him to make sure he couldn’t move and holy shit, Yahaba was climbing up on him and holy shit and there were Yahaba’s eyes, inches away from his own, holy_ shit _and Yahaba was glaring down at him and his irises were reflecting the red light of the setting sun and Kyoutani really was a dumbass who fell for a demon, a literal demon who tackled people out of nowhere and whose eyes were practically glowing red and even worse than that was the fact that Kyoutani was a dumbass for a demon and he still couldn’t bring himself to be mad about it._

__

__

_“Which. University. Are. You. Going. To.” Yahaba’s eyebrows were furrowed and his bangs slightly toussled as he glared down right into him. Kyoutani had half a mind to reach up and tuck the stray strands back behind his ears, but he’d be damned if he let Yahaba win so instead he just grit his teeth and shoved his shoulder into the ground as hard as he could and then Yahaba’s eyes were widening as they both toppled over and their positions flipped._

__

__

_“Can’t. You. Take. A. Hint,” Kyoutani growled._

__

__

_Yahaba stared at him for a long moment. “No,” he said, and then Kyoutani was the one rolling except there was too much momentum and they were both rolling, they were both rolling down the hill together and Kyoutani couldn’t see anything except for a red flash across Yahaba’s eyes and holy shit, he was toppling down a hill with a demon prince and this was such a mess and he was such a mess and him and Yahaba were such a tangled-up mess of limbs and fingers and hair tumbling down a hill together._

__

__

_Thankfully, their momentum started to slow as the bottom grew closer until finally they rolled to a stop. Kyoutani lay flat on his back for a moment, panting._

__

__

_And then suddenly his arms were being pinned above his head and Yahaba was on top of him, his gleeful eyes gleaming red._

__

__

_“I win,” he breathed, grinning._

__

__

_Kyoutani gaped at him. “Seriously? You just tackled us down a hill and you’re concerned with who won?”_

__

__

_Yahaba shrugged. “You’re just saying that cuz you lost.”_

__

__

_“You-“ Kyoutani stared at him. “You are literally demonic.”_

__

__

_Yahaba ignored him and leaned in closer. “What college?”_

__

__

_Kyoutani groaned. “This again?”_

__

__

_“This again. What college?”_

__

__

_Crap. Kyoutani didn’t know how to get himself out of this one._

__

__

_“Sendai University,” he quickly mumbled, turning his head to the side._

__

__

_“What was that?”_

__

__

_“Sendai University,” he repeated, even faster this time._

__

__

_“Do they not teach enunciation in dog school?”_

__

__

_Kyoutani snarled. “I said Sendai University, you prick.”_

__

__

_Yahaba’s eyes widened. “Oh.” His grip on Kyoutani’s arms loosened a bit, but the blonde boy didn’t try to push him off. (Because, like, come on. Yahaba was on top of him and Kyoutani really was a weak, weak man.) “But… That’s where I’m going.”_

__

__

_Kyoutani was absolutely certain that Yahaba must have been able to see the blush tinging his cheeks. “Yeah, well.”_ Of course that’s where you’re going, you ass. I only applied when I overheard that it was your first choice because I am a mess for you, a whole-ass fucking mess. _“Whatever.”_

__

__

_Yahaba’s eyes were unreadable. “Why didn’t you tell me?”_

__Because I’m an idiot who’s following a boy to college and it’s absolutely humiliating. _But he couldn’t say that, and so instead Kyoutani just shrugged. “Didn’t see the point.”_

_Yahaba’s eyes searched his for a long moment, the expression in them indecipherable. Then he let go of Kyoutani’s arms and moved off of him so that he could sit up. By the time Kyoutani had pushed himself up and could see Yahaba’s face again, his expression had become teasing. “Do you know what this means, Kyoutani? We could be roommates.”_

_Kyoutani grunted, rubbing his elbows._

_“Eating together, studying together,” Yahaba continued, “you’d literally never be able to get rid of me.”_

_Kyoutani just grunted again. “Whatever.”_

_Yahaba raised his eyebrows. “Is that a yes?” he teased._

_Kyoutani shrugged, blushing slightly._

_Yahaba’s eyes widened. “Wait, seriously?”_

_Kyoutani just shrugged again._

_“Okay.” The tips of Yahaba’s lips turned upward. “Yeah, okay. Cool.”_

_Kyoutani nodded and prayed that he wasn’t totally beet red. “Cool.”_

_“Hey!” The pair looked back to see Watari charging towards them. “What the hell is wrong with you people? We literally just graduated!”_

_“Exactly,” Yahaba said. “They can’t kick us out now.”_

_Kyoutani snorted, and Yahaba looked over at him, grinning, and for a moment, there, in the setting sun, at the bottom of the hill they had just rolled down, with Yahaba smiling at him, Kyoutani allowed himself to hope that maybe, just maybe, things weren’t such an absolute mess, after all._

#

A mess. The whole thing was an absolute mess. Just look at them: silently washing dog urine out of Kyoutani’s shoe in a public restroom after not having talked for a year.

A mess. The whole thing was an absolute mess.

And it all started with Yahaba. 

Yahaba, who had just Yahaba-ed his way into making Kyoutani a dumbass. 

Yahaba, who was eyeing the shoe in the sink and looking like he wanted to say something. Had it been a year ago, Kyoutani would’ve told him to spit it out. Now, though… His shoulders tensed.

“You’re doing it wrong, you know,” Yahaba finally said. 

Kyoutani just grunted. 

“You should be using cold water.”

Kyoutani just grunted again. 

Yahaba sighed loudly, shifting Mad Dog’s leash to his other hand. “Did anybody ever tell you about this neat little trick called using your words? They’re kind of a staple of this tiny thing we like to call ‘language.’”

Kyoutani turned his head to fix him with a glare.

“Fine.” Yahaba put his hands up in mock surrender. “Have it your way.” 

They sunk back into silence for a moment. But then Yahaba apparently decided he couldn’t take it anymore and reached forward to change the tap, saying, “Look, I’m not going to just watch you ruin the shoe-“ and Kyoutani was lunging forward too to stop him, growling, “Well they’re already pretty ruined, don’t you think-“ and then they were both struggling for control over the sink and Kyoutani was remembering just how strong Yahaba was, he might need to use his hip to get him out of the way and it all felt so _normal_ that it took Kyoutani a moment to realize that their hands were touching each other, that their hands were practically _groping_ each other, and he almost wanted to let go of the tap so that he could just flip his palm up and hold Yahaba’s hand and he might’ve actually done it if not for the principle of the thing because he’d be damned if he let Yahaba win and then Yahaba suddenly froze and looked up at him and his eyes were so chocolate and Kyoutani knew that Yahaba had just realized what they were doing and he could just lean in and-

Yahaba retracted his hands and backed away. Kyoutani swallowed. 

“Here, I’ll look it up,” Yahaba said, pulling out his phone. It may have just been Kyoutani’s imagination, but he could’ve sworn that his fingers were shaking a little as he started to type. “Let the Internet tell you that you should freeze bacteria.” 

“Yeah right,” Kyoutani grumbled, crossing his arms. “You’re supposed to boil germs.”

Yahaba looked up to stare at him for a moment. “That water isn’t boiling, idiot.” 

“Yeah, well it’s not exactly frozen either, is it?” 

Yahaba didn’t answer and instead went back to scrolling. It had always been like this - whenever Yahaba knew that he wasn’t going to win an argument, he’d turn quiet until he could think up some new way to win. 

_Some things never change,_ Kyoutani thought, shaking his head. He glanced up to make eye contact with himself in the mirror and took it all in: the creased eyebrows, the crossed arms, the pink dusting his cheek from when Yahaba had touched his hand. 

_Yeah._ Kyoutani frowned a little. _Some things never change._

#

__

_One Year Ago_

  
_“Look,” Kyoutani was saying, “they only include C to make you second-guess whether or not you were right about B in the first place, so its purpose is just to trick you when B is actually the right answer.”_  


____

_“But when you’re looking at the possible solutions,” Yahaba argued, gesticulating with the hand that was holding a beer, “you see B first, which means that it’s in the perfect spot to trick you into marking it down without reading the rest of the answers and realizing that C is actually correct.”_

__

__

_Kyoutani sighed loudly. “See, that-“ Then somebody in the house turned up the music’s volume and he had to lean in closer so that Yahaba could hear him. Damn frat parties. Kyoutani didn’t understand why Yahaba even dragged him to them in the first place; they always ended up just getting into a heated debate in the corner anyways, which they could easily do in their own dorm room without all the excess noise. Still, Yahaba always wanted to go, and so Kyoutani always ended up following him. (“Just like his loyal dog,” Matsukawa would sometimes coo, and then Kyoutani would shove something in his face to make him shut up.)_

__

__

_“See,” Kyoutani repeated, “that doesn’t make any sense, because then they might as well just make D the right answer and a correct-seeming C would also be a good trick.” He watched as Yahaba swished his drink absentmindedly, his gaze lingering on the center of the crowded room. “But whatever, you aren’t even listening,” Kyoutani grumbled, crossing his arms._

__

__

_Yahaba turned to look at him. “Hey, I’m listening.”_

__

__

_Kyoutani scoffed. “Yeah right.”_

__

__

_Yahaba raised an eyebrow, his tone turning haughty. “Are you doubting me?”_

__

__

_“Well what was the last thing I said?” Kyoutani fired back._

__

__

_Yahaba was silent, his eyebrows furrowed as he thought hard. Then, after a long moment, he lifted up his drink and took a big swig, setting his mouth in a frown._

__

__

_“See?” Kyoutani smirked. “I knew you-“ And then his words got muffled because there were two hands reaching towards his face and then there were lips crashing against his mouth and Kyoutani’s eyes widened and holy fucking motherfucking load of motherfuckers they were Yahaba’s lips, Yahaba’s lips on his lips, Yahaba’s lips on his lips because he was kissing him, Yahaba was kissing him,_ Yahaba _was kissing_ him _, Yahaba was_ kissing _him, and that had to mean he felt it too, that the last four years hadn’t been a waste, that he hadn’t followed this boy to university for nothing and holy fucking motherfucking load of motherfuckers he wasn’t ready for this but god was he so ready for this, had been so ready for this for so long and-_

__

__

_Yahaba pulled away. “See?” he said. “I was totally listening.”_

_Kyoutani just gaped at him, all brain activity grinding to a halt. “What?” he choked out._

_Yahaba smirked, reaching out a finger to boop the blonde boy on the nose. Kyoutani lacked the brain power to even try and lift his hand to stop him. “I win,” Yahaba said simply, his smile smug._

_“What…” Kyoutani just stared as Yahaba took another sip, a self-satisfied smirk never leaving his lips. “What the fuck. You can’t just- shit, you can’t just do that, Yahaba.”_

_“Do what?” Yahaba asked innocently._

_“That! You can’t just-“ Kyoutani gestured wildly. “God damn it, you can’t just go around kissing people to shut them up and win a fucking debate!”_

_Yahaba’s cheeks were slightly flushed, probably from the alcohol. “I didn’t just-“ He stopped and let out an exasperated breath. “Forget it, it doesn’t even matter because I can whatever the hell I want.”_

_“But, shit, that’s not fair, you can’t just-“ And then Kyoutani’s heart dropped. “Wait. Do you do that with everybody?”_

_Yahaba just stared at him for a moment. “What?” His voice turned dangerous. “What did you say?” He paused for a moment, his eyes venomous. “Were you seriously about to try and slut-shame me, Kyoutani?”_

_The blonde boy crossed his arms. “Well do you?”_

_Yahaba stared at him for another moment. “Unbelievable.” Then he started to shake his head. “You are literally unbelievable.”_

_“Me?” Kyoutani barked out a laugh. “I’m the one who’s unbelievable?” He gestured towards Yahaba. “I’m not the one who goes around kissing people to win arguments!”_

_Yahaba groaned. “Not people, damn it, I don’t need to kiss people to beat them in debates-“_

_“Then what the hell was that?”_

_Yahaba looked at him for a long moment, searching Kyoutani’s eyes for something and Kyoutani just wanted to give it to him, give him anything and everything just for the chance that he had been right, that it had meant what he thought it meant and that Yahaba felt the same and that maybe it wasn’t all such a mess and that maybe this could just be simple and uncomplicated and that maybe Kyoutani hadn’t just spent four years following around a boy only to get arched eyebrows and meaningless kisses in return and that maybe-_

_But Yahaba looked away and sighed and Kyoutani stopped breathing. “Nothing,” he said, “just a dumb idea that I shouldn’t have done. Sorry. It was nothing. Forget about it.”_

_The brunette started to turn away and Kyoutani’s heart dropped. “Wait,” he said, and then Kyoutani reached out and grabbed his arm because he really was a weak, weak man and Yahaba’s eyes were wide as Kyoutani tugged him back into his chest and then their mouths were crashing into each other again because meaningless kisses and arched eyebrows had to be better than just arched eyebrows alone, right?_

_“If it’s nothing,” Kyoutani said, pulling away to look at Yahaba, “then it doesn’t matter if we do this, right?”_

_Yahaba’s gaze flickered down to his lips before looking back up at his eyes. “Kyoutani-“_

_“Right?” Kyoutani repeated, his voice a rumble._

_Yahaba swallowed hard. “Right,” he said, and then they were kissing again and Kyoutani closed his eyes and it was all fine, perfectly fine, because Kyoutani could wake up early to stroke Yahaba’s hair when he was asleep and he would hum a little into his shoulder and Kyoutani could pretend that everything was simple and uncomplicated and that the whole situation wasn’t such a mess, that he wasn’t such a mess, that he wasn’t an absolute mess for Yahaba Shigeru and his chocolate eyes and arched eyebrows and meaningless kisses and so Kyoutani just closed his eyes and let himself pretend._

__

#

Yahaba was still scrolling. After about a minute of silence, Kyoutani started to bounce on the balls of his feet.

Why was he even here, anyways? Why insist on coming with him if he was just going to argue and then pull away from him every chance he got? Why agree to live with him - literally _live with him_ \- if he was perfectly fine not talking to him for twelve months? Why go through the trouble?

Goddamn Yahaba. Everything started with goddamn Yahaba. 

“Stop bouncing,” Yahaba said, glancing over at Kyoutani. “It’s distracting.” 

“Stop getting distracted then,” Kyoutani snapped back, continuing to bounce. “What’s taking you so long, anyways?” 

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Yahaba said, his voice laced with sarcasm, “that WikiHow doesn’t have an entry for how to wash out your dog’s urine from the shoe of your-“ He stopped and gestured at Kyoutani. 

“Your what?” Kyoutani prompted. 

“Your whatever you are!” Yahaba groaned. “You know what I mean.” 

Kyoutani kept silent for a minute, his eyes fixed on the shoe in the sink as it grew more and more soaked, more and more wet, more and more and more and more until a year went by and they hadn’t even talked. God, Kyoutani had followed this boy to college for them to go an entire year without speaking. An entire year. 

He still had Yahaba’s last text saved on his phone. Sometimes, when it was dark and he couldn’t fall asleep, Kyoutani would let himself pull it up and just stare at it. Their majors were different, and so after Yahaba had moved out, they hadn’t had any classes together or excuses to see each other. That had been it; that last text had been it. 

_10:38 am | when can i get the rest of my stuff_

Four years of more and more and more and that was how it had all ended - with nine words, nine dumb words that Yahaba hadn’t bothered to capitalize. It was stupid, really; sometimes Kyoutani could even get himself to laugh about it. _Where did the question mark even go?_ he would wonder. _Did he just press send too quickly?_ And over the past year, the nights when he couldn’t fall asleep and allowed himself to go back and stare at that last message had grown less frequent, and over the past year, he had been fine, or at least fine enough. 

But his friends still told him that sometimes, when he got really drunk, he’d repeat one phrase over and over again. _Where did the question mark go?_ they would mimick, moaning loudly. _Where did that dumbass question mark go?_

Kyoutani met the eyes of the poodle through the mirror. It wagged its tail, and Kyoutani’s eyebrows relaxed a little. Dogs were nice like that: simple, uncomplicated. 

_Your whatever you are!_ Yahaba had said. _You know what I mean._

“I really don’t,” Kyoutani murmured softly, bringing his gaze back to the sink to watch as the shoe grew more and more soaked. 

Yahaba glanced up to look at him through the mirror. “What?” 

Kyoutani sucked in a deep breath. “No, actually,” he said, his voice louder, “I really don’t know what you mean.”

Yahaba gaped at him. “What-“ He stopped. 

God, Kyoutani couldn’t believe he was actually about to do it. They had been dancing around each other for, what, five whole years and now he was finally going to do it in a public bathroom as they rinsed urine out of his shoe. If this had been the premise of a movie, Kyoutani might’ve been laughing at the characters right now. But it wasn’t, and he wasn’t, because it was messy, it was all so damn messy. “I just don’t understand.” Kyoutani turned around and rested his hip on the sink. “Explain it to me. What am I to you?”

Yahaba swallowed hard.

#

__

_One Year Ago_

__  
_Kyoutani blinked his eyes open sleepily. The morning light was filtering in through a window, illuminating the silhouette of somebody sitting in a chair across from his bed. Kyoutani squinted._  


____

_“Yahaba?” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes._

__

__

_“Hey.” Yahaba was smiling softly at him, and there was an indecipherable look in his eyes as he watched Kyoutani push himself up to rest his back against the headboard. “You’re awake.”_

__

__

_Kyoutani furrowed his eyebrows. “You watching me sleep or something?”_

__

__

_Yahaba laughed a little. “Good morning to you, too,” he teased, but his voice seemed a little hollow, and even though the slight smile never left his face, his gaze remained unreadable. Kyoutani’s eyes narrowed. Something was up._

__

__

_“Creep,” Kyoutani muttered._

__

__

_Yahaba rolled his eyes, but he was still smiling. “Maybe,” he mused._

__

__

_Yeah, something was definitely up. Kyoutani rubbed his eyes and shifted a bit in the bed. Yahaba had just agreed with him. Yahaba never agreed with him. “When’s your first class?” he asked after a moment had passed in silence._

__

__

_“I don’t have any today,” Yahaba answered. “The professor wanted the extra period to grade our finals.”_

__

__

_Kyoutani grunted in response, nodding slightly. Another moment passed in silence. Yahaba was just looking at him, smiling that infuriating little close-lipped smile of his. It was honestly getting a bit creepy. Kyoutani frowned and crossed his arms. “What?” he finally said, breaking the stillness that had settled over the room._

__

__

_“Hm?”_

__

__

_“Why are you looking at me all weird?”_

__

__

_Yahaba tilted his head. “I am?”_

__

__

_“Yes, you are.” Kyoutani shifted a bit. “And it’s fucking creepy,” he added, muttering._

__

__

_Yahaba laughed a little. That goddamn little smile. “Hm.”_

__

__

_Kyoutani waited for him to elaborate. When Yahaba remained silent, however, his eyebrows furrowed further. “Well aren’t you going to say something?”_

__

__

_“Say what?”_

__

__

_He was stalling. That much was obvious, at least. Kyoutani frowned. “Whatever it is you’ve been waiting there to tell me.”_

__

__

_Yahaba didn’t answer, but the smile faltered a little._

__

__

_Kyoutani’s frown deepened. “Come on,” he said._

__

__

_Yahaba remained quiet._

__

__

_“Yahaba.”_

__

__

_Still no response._

__

__

_Kyoutani scowled. “Just spit it out already,” he growled._

__

__

_Finally Yahaba took a deep breath. “I’m switching dorms,” he said._

__

__

_Kyoutani stared at him for a long moment, processing. Processing. His eyebrows creased. He couldn’t be hearing this right. “The hell?”_

__

__

_Yahaba stayed silent, watching his reaction with that same indecipherable look in his eyes. Kyoutani tried to think. Things had been going fine, he had thought. Yahaba hadn’t seemed unhappy recently. In fact, the opposite had appeared to be true: it had been about a month and a half since the party, and Yahaba had seemed like he was enjoying them doing- well, whatever it was that they were doing. Kyoutani still wasn’t sure, if he was being completely honest, but that was okay because the important thing was that Yahaba was happy and Kyoutani got to kiss him and he could pretend, at least, that it was him making Yahaba happy. A thought that was seeming increasingly like nothing but play-pretend with every moment he spent processing Yahaba’s words._

__

__

_“Why?” he finally asked, his voice gruff._

__

__

_Yahaba bit his lip. “I don’t know,” he said._

__

__

_“That’s absolute crap,” Kyoutani growled._

__

__

_“It’s not crap.”_

__

__

_“It so fucking is.”_

__

__

_Yahaba sighed. “Does there really need to be a reason?”_

__

__

_Kyoutani just frowned at him._

__

__

_Yahaba took a deep breath. “Fine.” He paused for a moment, thinking. “I don’t know, it’s just-“ He sighed. “I need to move on, meet new people.”_

__

__

_Kyoutani squinted. “New people?”_

__

__

_“Yeah. New people.” Yahaba sighed again. “For goodness sake, Kyoutani, we’ve known each for four years now, and, well, nothing has changed.”_

__

__

_Kyoutani’s eyebrows lowered. “Why do things need to change?” Sure, the situation wasn't exactly ideal, but he was fine with what he got the way things were; it was better than getting nothing, at least._

__

__

_“Why?” Yahaba laughed a little. “Because it’s unhealthy, that’s why.”_

__

__

_Kyoutani frowned. “Unhealthy?”_

__

__

_“Yes, Kyoutani, it’s goddamn unhealthy. I just- I stay here, living with you, even though I feel the way I do about you, and even though you feel the way you do about me, and I keep on hoping that it’s going to change, but it’s not, we’re not, we’re never going to change and it’s goddamn unhealthy.”_

__

__

_Kyoutani’s stomach clenched and his shoulders tensed and his mind just went limp because it wasn’t okay, it wasn’t fucking okay and he couldn’t pretend that it was anymore because Yahaba had just said it, he’d just practically said it and suddenly there were a thousand mirrors shattering inside Kyoutani’s chest. “The way you feel,” he started slowly, swallowing hard. “It’s never going to change?”_

__

__

_Yahaba looked away, and another mirror exploded. Kyoutani almost wanted to laugh. He must be so pitiful right now, his arms crossed tight across his chest like a pathetic attempt at a shield, so pitiful that Yahaba couldn’t even say it to his face. “No. It’s not.”_

__

__

_“Oh.” Kyoutani swallowed. He was such a dumb idiot, the dumbest of all idiots because he had known this, he had known that Yahaba was never going to like him romantically, he had known this for four years and yet he had still let himself pretend, had still let himself come to Sendai, had still let himself room with him, had still let himself fall deeper and deeper and deeper and now here he was, the dumb idiot who had walked himself into this mess_ happily _because he was the dumbest of all idiots for the boy who was sitting across from him and telling him in no uncertain terms that he would never feel the same way. “It’s not,” he repeated dumbly._

_Kyoutani watched Yahaba’s Adam’s apple bob in his throat. “It’s not.”_

_“Oh.” Kyoutani paused. What could he possibly even say? “It’s not,” he just repeated._

_Yahaba still wouldn’t look at him. “God, it’s bad enough having to say it once, Kyoutani, so please don’t make me say it again.”_

_“Oh.” Another mirror cracked. It must be awkward for Yahaba to have to tell him this, to have to reject his friend of four years, and here he was, making it even more difficult. Dumbest of the dumb. “Sorry,” he grunted, glancing down at his lap._

_Yahaba sighed. “No, don’t apologize. I know you can’t change how you feel, and it’s okay. I’ll,” he took a deep breath, “I’ll be okay.”_

_Kyoutani just grunted._

_After another long pause, Yahaba coughed awkwardly and moved to stand. “Well,” he said, “I should, um, get out of your way.”_

_Kyoutani grunted again._

_“I already got the transfer approved and everything, so you don’t have to worry about any of that.”_

_Kyoutani only grunted in response._

_Yahaba’s hand hovered over the doorknob. “Bye, I guess.”_

_And Yahaba was looking at him with those big light brown eyes of his and it suddenly hit Kyoutani like a mirror to the chest that this could be it, this could be his last chance to tell Yahaba those goddamn three words he’d been waiting four years to say and_ I love you I love you I love you I love you _and it would be so easy, so easy to just open his mouth and let it all out and then maybe things wouldn’t be so messy and then maybe Yahaba would smile and be happy because of him, maybe he could make Yahaba happy and then maybe-_

_But Yahaba was leaving and Yahaba already knew and Yahaba didn’t want to have to reject him again and Yahaba and Yahaba and Yahaba and so Kyoutani just clenched his jaw and grunted again._

_Yahaba nodded slowly before turning the knob and opening the door and then he was gone, Yahaba was gone and_ I love you I love you I love you I love you _and Kyoutani’s fist squeezed the corner of the blanket into a ball and_ I love you I love you I love you I love you _and then he was throwing the covers across the room and_ I love you I love you I love you I love you _and the sheets crumpled against the wall, like flimsy pieces of nothing because they were nothing and it was nothing now that Yahaba was gone, now that those four years were gone, now that Yahaba was gone and Yahaba was going to be okay and Kyoutani had only grunted - he’d only fucking grunted, for fuck’s sake - and_ I love you I love you I love you I love you _and Kyoutani wanted to bash his head into the wall because Yahaba had been right, he had been so right, because_ I love you I love you I love you I love you _and it had been four years but nothing was ever going to fucking change._

__

#

_What am I to you?_

Kyoutani had imagined many different reactions Yahaba could possibly have to the question. He had imagined Yahaba shouting, scoffing, staying silent, scowling, slapping him - he had imagined thousands of different reactions and the thousands of different things they could all lead to, but what he had not imagined was Yahaba Shigeru looking at him and honest-to-goodness _trembling_ with laughter. 

“What?” Kyoutani growled. Yahaba only laughed harder. “What?” he repeated, louder this time. When Yahaba still didn’t respond, Kyoutani groaned in exasperation. “For fuck’s sake, what about this is so goddamn funny?”

“Everything,” Yahaba wheezed. “Literally everything. What are _you_ to _me_?” He scoffed. “I should be asking what _I_ am to _you_.”

“Don’t you dare turn this on me,” Kyoutani growled, taking a step forward. “Not when you saunter in here snatching your hand away and naming your dog after me.” 

“I already told you,” Yahaba hissed, stepping forward as well. “I did _not_ name Mad Dog after you.”

“You never even let me get us a dog, anyways!” Kyoutani jabbed his finger at Yahaba as he stepped aggressively towards him. “What, did you just get a poodle after you’d gone just as an extra screw-you? Was that it?” 

“Of course not!” Yahaba’s face was growing red. “You’re the one who’s going and walking around in parks when I always had to drag you kicking and screaming to them!” 

“Well that’s because parks are stupid!” 

“So why are you here then? Out of spite?” 

“That’s ridiculous and you know it,” Kyoutani growled. 

Yahaba’s cheeks were flushed pink and his eyes furious. “Yeah well you tend to make me feel a little goddamn ridiculous!” he shouted. 

“You? You’re the one who feels ridiculous?” Kyoutani wanted to laugh. He could practically see Oikawa cackling in his mind. “How do you think it made me feel, huh?” he asked, stalking forward. “How do you think it made me feel when you kiss me literally just to shut me up? How do you think it made me feel when you could just waltz around and call it, call us, call the whole damn mess nothing?” 

Yahaba threw up his hands. “You were the one who said we should do it! You were the one who said it was okay because it meant nothing, you said, because it meant nothing to you!” 

“Well you were the one who said it first!” 

“Because you wouldn’t even let me call me call you by your first name!” Yahaba scoffed. “God, even _Kindaichi_ got to call you Kentarou-kun.” 

“Well at least I didn’t just go around making out with Kindaichi,” Kyoutani spit. 

“Me neither!” Yahaba stepped forward, jabbing his finger at Kyoutani’s chest. “You wouldn’t even tell me what university you were going to - god, Kyoutani, I literally had to tackle you down a hill and pin you down to the ground before you’d say. And then you said that you just didn’t see a point in telling me that we’d be at the same college because that’s,” he jabbed his finger into Kyoutani’s chest, staring straight into his eyes, “how little I meant to you, because I was nothing to you.” 

Kyoutani cursed. “For Christ’s sake, Yahaba, I never said that.”

Yahaba glared at him. “Well it was pretty damn well implied.”

“No, that’s not-“ Kyoutani groaned. “I didn’t tell you that I was coming to Sendai too because it was just too embarrassing, alright?” 

Yahaba barked out a laugh. “Oh, okay, so now it’s embarrassing that you’d be going to the same university as me?” 

“That’s not what I meant!” 

“Well that’s what you said!”

“Well, damn it, Yahaba, you’re the one who said it was nothing and then go ahead and name your dog after me!” 

Yahaba groaned. “For the last time, I did not name Mad Dog after you!” 

“That’s just such utter bullshit! His name is _Mad Dog_ , for Christ’s sake!” 

“Because he’s a crazy dog!”

Kyoutani glanced over at the poodle, who had been sitting at Yahaba’s feet silently the whole time. “Stop lying! Why did you name him after me?” 

Yahaba’s mouth floundered for a moment. “I don’t know!” he yelled. 

Kyoutani took a step forward. “What do you mean you don’t know? How the hell can you not know?”

“I don’t know!” Yahaba repeated. 

Kyoutani took one last step forward, bringing them close enough for Yahaba to feel his breath against his cheek. “That’s bull-fucking-shit,” he growled, staring right into Yahaba’s eyes. 

“Well what the hell do you want me to say?” Yahaba glared right back, his voice raising as his irises glinted with anger. “That I got a dog just so I could name it after my ex-roommate? Is that what you want to fucking hear?” 

“Why, Yahaba, I want to hear why you would-“

“Because I was lonely and I missed you, I really fucking missed you, okay?“

Kyoutani’s eyes hardened. “You were the one who said you had to leave, that we were unhealthy-“

“Because we _are_ -“

“But then you go and say you miss me-“

“Because I _do_ -“

“But then why, why did you-“

“Because I’m in love with you, goddamnit!” Yahaba threw up his arms, and Kyoutani froze. “There. I said it. Are you happy now, you fucking jerk?” 

Yahaba was breathing hard, his cheeks flushed as he glared hard into Kyoutani’s eyes. Kyoutani, meanwhile, couldn’t even move. A year ago, he’d thought he’d been ready for this, for Yahaba feeling the same. But apparently, even five years of pining and fantasizing and hoping was not enough to prepare him for this. For Yahaba telling him, in a public restroom of all places, that he- shit. Kyoutani couldn’t even think it. No way. No shitting fucking way. That would mean that all of that time, the entire year they had spent apart, it all could have been prevented if he had just said something because Yahaba had been- nope. There was just, no. No way. 

“You-“ Kyoutani stopped, taking a couple of steps back. “You _what_?” 

“I already said it once, Kyoutani, and I’m not saying it again,” Yahaba snapped. 

“But-“ Kyoutani just stared at him. “You- seriously?” 

Yahaba crossed his arms, his cheeks red but his eyes still glaring. “What do you mean ‘seriously,’” he spit. “Of course I’m being serious, did you really think I would fucking joking about this?”

Kyoutani couldn’t even formulate words. “But.” He stopped. His mouth had officially gone on strike. 

Yahaba frowned at him for a moment before groaning loudly and starting to turn away. “God, this is so stupid. I don’t even know why I bothered-“ 

But he was cut off by the sound of a toilet flushing from within one of the stalls. The pair stopped, slowly turning their heads to look at the college student with slightly green hair and a cowlick pushing open one of the toilet’s doors. 

Yahaba covered his face with the palms of his hands. “You have got to be kiddng me,” he groaned.

“Sorry,” the boy began nervously, blushing as he looked down to fiddle with his hands. “I can, um, go back in, if you’d, uh, like. I wouldn’t want to, er, interrupt-“

“No,” Yahaba cut him off, massaging his temples for a moment before dropping his hands to his side. “No, it’s fine; you can go ahead. We were just about finished, anyways.”

It wasn’t until Yahaba was turning around and tugging on Mad Dog’s leash that Kyoutani’s brain finally caught up and he reached forward to grab his wrist. “Wait, what do you mean we’re just about finished?” 

Yahaba didn’t look back at him. “Well I think it’s pretty clear that we’ve said everything necessary, so if you would just let me-“

“But we haven’t.” 

“But we have.”

“But we _haven’t._ ”

“But we _have._ ”

Kyoutani stepped forward. “But _I_ haven’t.” 

“Um,” the boy started, shifting awkwardly, “should I just-“

“Jesus Christ, Kyoutani, can’t you take a hint? I am really not in the mood to listen to your well-worn rejection today, so if you would be so kind as to just let go of my-“

Kyoutani furrowed his eyebrows. “Well-worn? When have I ever rejected you?”

“You’ve literally been rejecting me for the past five years, I think I’ve got the gist of it by-“

And then Kyoutani remembered that he was shit at words and so he just tugged hard on Yahaba’s wrist so that he was spinning back at him and then their teeth clashed into each other and they were kissing and god, Kyoutani had missed this, he had missed kissing Yahaba and he had missed Yahaba and apparently Yahaba had missed him too and if that wasn’t enough to make Kyoutani’s entire goddamn year, he didn’t know what was and Yahaba’s arms had snaked around his waist and Kyoutani’s grip on his wrist tightened because he could do that now, he could hold on tight and he didn’t even have to pretend anymore because it was real, actually real, holy shit, this was actually real-

“Yeah, I think I’ll just, um, yeah…” The boy’s voice trailed off as he stepped back into the stall and shut the door. 

Pulling away, Kyoutani rested his forehead against Yahaba’s. “I’m not about to fucking reject you,” he growled, looking at the brunette’s flushed face. 

Yahaba just stared at him for a moment, his light brown eyes wide. “Oh my god.” He leaned back a bit, raising his hand to wipe at his eyes. “Oh my god,” he repeated. “Oh my _god_ , Kyoutani, you are such an asshat.” 

Kyoutani’s eyebrows furrowed as his eyes followed Yahaba’s hand. “Were you about to cry?” he asked. 

Yahaba ignored him and continued rubbing his eyes. “Why couldn’t you have just said that like five minutes ago-“

“I was just processing the news-“

“Well process fucking faster because I thought I was about to get rejected in a public restroom-“ 

“You were the one who chose to confess in here-“

“Yeah, well it’s not like I actually had planned to do this, you know-“

“Hey.” Kyoutani reached a hand forward to wipe Yahaba’s lower eye lid for him. “Don’t cry.” 

Yahaba’s gaze immediately shifted into a glare. “Shut the hell up. I can cry if I want to.”

Kyoutani swore. “What the hell, Yahaba, I’m just trying to be _romantic_ here-“ 

“Oh my god, that was the best you got?” Yahaba laughed. 

Kyoutani scowled. “Whatever,” he grumbled. 

Yahaba giggled again before leaning in to press another kiss to Kyoutani’s lips. “You’re such a softie,” he said, smiling. 

Kyoutani grunted and looked away, his cheekbones flushing pink. “Whatever,” he grumbled again. Yahaba’s grin grew and even though Kyoutani knew that everything was still messy and even though he knew that there were still a lot of things that had to be explained and even though he knew that they still needed a long talk, a proper one, Yahaba was smiling at him and damn his pretty face but it was a hella beautiful smile and for a moment, even parks seemed a little less stupid. 

_I love you I love you I love you I love you._ “I love you,” Kyoutani muttered, pressing his forehead against Yahaba’s. 

Yahaba’s eyes went wide. “Really?”

Kyoutani grunted, nodding. 

Yahaba’s voice was small. “For how long?”

Kyoutani just grunted again, looking away and blushing. 

“Kyoutani.” Yahaba’s voice took on a dangerous edge. “For how long?”

Kyoutani only grunted in response.

“For Christ’s sake, Kyoutani, I swear to god I will tackle you right now if you don’t just spit it out this instant.”

Kyoutani blushed. “Five years,” he mumbled. 

Yahaba leaned in closer. “What was that?”

“Five years,” Kyoutani repeated, louder this time. 

“Five years?” Yahaba shoved him away, glaring. “Five fucking years? You’re telling me you’ve been in love with me for five whole fucking years and it never occured to you to just oh, I don’t know, tell me?”

Kyoutani huffed. “It’s not like it didn’t _occur_ to me; I’m not stupid-“

“Then why didn’t you?”

“Because-“ Kyoutani’s hands floundered for a second before he decided to just give up and push them deep into his pockets. “Well, I dunno,” he mumbled, kicking at the ground. “You clearly didn’t feel the same way.”

Yahaba reached out a hand to shove his shoulder. “You absolute dumbass, I was in love with you the entire time!”

“Well then you could’ve said something too!”

Yahaba stared at him for a moment. “Damn.” His glare weakened, and he started to laugh. “We are just such a mess, aren’t we?” 

“Yeah.” A small smile started to tug at the edges of Kyoutani’s lips because Yahaba was giggling and Yahaba _loved_ him and Kyoutani was an absolute mess for this boy and he couldn’t bring himself to be angry about it. “We really fucking are.”

**Author's Note:**

> congrats for getting to the end of 10k words of yahaba thinking that searching people's eyes is the most reliable form of communication~ (i’m really just out here trying to do that miscommunication tag proud; like seriously, can't one of them just say something? anything??)
> 
> anyhoo, thanks for reading this; it was my first attempt at kyouhaba, and i really enjoyed it. idk if anybody's interested, but i'm thinking about making more one-shots like this of just straight-up miscommunication culminating (finally!) in a confession.


End file.
